If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
