Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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