how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize