At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
