You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
