i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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