i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
