if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
