Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
