I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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