Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
where are my eyebrows?
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