OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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