guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He did a backflip because drugs
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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