I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
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In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
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I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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