We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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