is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
