If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
