I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
