Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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