yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
