id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
