he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
