he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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