i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
