Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i think my tv is drunk
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
