Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
