Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I puked a lego.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize