But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
