i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Who died my cat blue again?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
