I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
