i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
