Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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