You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
is wine microwaveable?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
