The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
