Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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