Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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