we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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