How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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