Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
