Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize