dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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