Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
