we're blogging at a bar
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
