Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You're like the curious george of whores
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
