haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
