Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I got chris browned last night
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
