how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
