she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
