Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
and she was petting her beer can
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize