omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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