butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
