I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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