I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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