get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
