I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
