Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
