How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
